Damon is the “Short” That Just Keeps on Giving

He is like the gift that keeps on giving and yesterday we were treated to not one, not two, but four priceless gems from Johnny Damon.  Try these on for size:

1)      “Initially, I thought long and hard about it, but after going around and talking to a bunch of my teammates, they want me here, and they feel we can make a strong push — at least make this (AL) Central race interesting. That’s why I’m going to stay.

2)      “I’ve said all along I love playing for Detroit, for the city, for the fans. These guys really like me here.” (That’s why they put you on waivers, right?)

3)      “I wanted the assurance from my teammates that they really wanted me here,” Damon said. “The higher-ups really like the attitude I bring.”

4)      “Papi is very excited,” said Damon. “He thinks I could make quite a difference”

Don’t you just love when athletes tell you how loved they are by fans and teammates and management? It basically eliminates the middle man and really, who needs primary sources when guys like Johnny Damon are around to tell you what the world thinks of them.  People, it is statements like these that led me to short Damon back in 2004 and remain short ever since.

Sorry, but I just can’t “buy” a guy who is this insecure, this narcissistic and this driven to be embraced.  Yes, I know everyone wants to be liked but this guy might contemplate suicide if he topped out at “liked.” Instead, he needs it all …. 100% unconditional love.  And if he doesn’t feel wanted, with no reservations, then he will take his bat and play elsewhere.  That folks, is the lesson for this week.  

It’s been this way for years and for the life of me, I can’t figure out why it hasn’t rubbed more people the wrong way. Sox fans seem to like Damon because of 2004 or dislike him because he chose a better deal over the Red Sox. And Yankee fans love him because he took their money and was part of a WS championship. But nary a mention is ever made about this guy’s disdain for “accountability” or the fact that he feels “entitled” to respect and adoration. Nor do people mention that Damon isn’t satisfied with being “wanted.” Instead, he needs to be coveted, desired and even idolized. Anything less just doesn’t reflect the contributions he has made and the privileges he has earned.  

Less you think I am distorting the evidence, take a look once again at the source material above. Study it for a second. Don’t you see a theme? Is it not clear what motivates this guy? And is it not clear that this guy is guilty of first degree “it’s all about me.” Just to put it in perspective, not even Alex Rodriguez, a six-time winner of baseball’s Most Narcissistic Player award, would ever utter something as lame as “these guys really like me here.” That is positively Sally Field-esque and aside from the fact that it might not be true, who is Johnny Damon that he gets to speak for the Tigers and their front office?

So I ask … .how can this attitude be condoned? After all, we crush actors and singers and politicians when they act this way. Just ask Al Gore or Jay Leno. Yet huge numbers of fans let Damon get away with it. I don’t get it.  

So bring it on critics. Charge me with being a pop psychologist. Accuse me of speaking about that which I don’t know. And tell me that I have corrupted the evidence. To these charges, I will plead guilty to not personally knowing Damon. And I will stipulate that I don’t have one minute of clinical experience so I am not exactly qualified to offer a diagnosis. But what I do possess is Damon’s testimony. Years and years of testimony. Scathing testimony. Indicting testimony. Testimony that makes my stomach turn. And with all this testimony, I can say one thing for certain …. I am perfectly comfortable with my short position and just to show you, I added to it yesterday!  That makes my negative bet on Damon one of my bigger positions and it has NOTHING to do with him leaving the Sox or turning down an invitation to return.  Nothing at all.